Episode 6 of the Parent Project Podcast is all about communication. How can we overcome communication barriers to improve relationships within our family? Parents and grandparents share communication challenges and successes with their kids and grandkids. “Less talking, and less advice giving, unless it's asked for, is what we’re transitioning in, in our family.”
What does positive communication look like in your home? Every family is unique and every family has its own way of communicating. You might follow the example your parents gave you, or you decide, or try at least, to do it totally different. Communication (verbal or non-verbal) is an important part of the family dynamics. When you and your family members have a healthy and respectful way of communicating, it develops trust and will forge strong connections with one another.
What are good communication skills? The participants in the sixth episode of the Parent Project podcast share tools that work best for them and their families. “Communicating with my kids goes best when I don’t have an agenda”, says podcast host Kate Nash. “When I leave the agenda on the back burner, I can really foster connections. The best conversation happens when I go for a walk with my kids or just stand quietly while we’re doing the dishes. What also works well for me and my husband if we want to broach a subject we want to talk about with our kids, is to wait until after dinner when everyone is digesting. Everybody's more relaxed when they have eaten.”
Nash, mother of two boys and a girl, found out that a proven method for better communication is ‘talking less and listening more’. “With teenagers that seems to be a helpful tool. If I am just there, listening, it seems to allow for a lot more dialogue. So less talking, and less advice giving, unless it's asked for, is sort of what we’re transitioning in, in our family.”
Listen to episode 6 here (or in your favourite podcast app)
For each episode of the Parent Project Podcast, host Kate Nash curated games, activities, resources, reflections and family practices to use, listen to, and do at home.
Activity:
A lot of communication happens without words (or in addition to words). As youth grow and define their feelings and identities, it can be hard for them to always say what they mean and mean what they say. It is important to read all their nonverbal cues to interpret best how they are feeling.
At dinner time try having a conversation without any gestures, body language or emotions. Reflect on what it felt like and what was missed. Then have a conversation with only gestures and body language.
Now reflect what you thought was said and what you noticed:
What body language clues do you look for to find out what your kid needs?
How easy is it to accept the cues that your kids give you?
What assumptions do you make about your kids’ body language and how they might feel?
Do you have body language cues that signal when you are happy, upset or at the end of your rope? Are these understood by your family?
Do your kids have body language cues that signal when they are happy, upset or at the end of your rope?
Are these understood by you?
Game:
Broken Telephone in Action
Have someone begin by whispering a series of actions that someone could do, i.e., forward roll, jumping jack, clap three times.
Have each person whisper what they hear from the person before them into the ear of the person next to them.
They can only hear the actions once and must whisper exactly what they hear.
When it gets to the last person have them do the action that they have been told.
See how similar or different it is from where it started.
Reflection:
Answer these questions:
What does communication mean to you?
What did communication look like growing up for you?
What hinders communication with your kids, what puts up roadblocks or makes communication with your kids difficult?
What helps communication? What sort of tools do you use to create more open communication at home?
This podcast is sponsored by Island Savings, a division of First West Credit Union.
